I started this blog about two years ago when I was lost. The original posts which I have since deleted, were a gaping insight to my soul and the fears I held so tightly at that time.
Two years on, I’ve managed one other post. A light hearted, fun analysis of a Jimmy Buffett song and it’s ties to my own pleasure time. I’ve thought about why I haven’t penned more over that time. After all, I’m not sure I’ve grown more or conceived so much contentment in any other period of my life.
I’m not afraid anymore. Yes, sometimes I get those mortal nigglings about life and death, the passing of loved ones and relationship fears, but I’m not afraid. I don’t fear floating off on my burning raft over the waves to Valhalla! I am (mostly) calm, centred, strong and happy. I have learnt what centres me and pulls me to the earth. For I am a water sign. I am tied to the sea, the tides and the moon.
“Crazy hippy type”, I hear you cry! Far from it friends. This girl likes her BMW, her yacht and her designer handbag collection. Yes. I like those things. I work long and hard for them, but they don’t fulfil me. They don’t calm me, soothe my soul and quieten my mind. My being needs Sea Spray for the Soul.
I need the smell of sea air, the reflections of white sail on mirrored calm waters. The breezy days when the heel on the yacht is greater and we are whizzing along with sea spray and the wind on my face. The dark winter nights when I’m the only dog walker on our beach and the tides and waves rage in tormented energy. The days when the coastal views are so clear, that I can see from the Northern Irish Coast and headlands to the peaks of Arran.
I had spent so many years of my life looking for something. Something tied to the land. Excitement, belonging and fulfilment from other people, purely material gains and experiences which then felt false and empty. I spent a lot of time making mistakes with people, places and choices.
When I was a little girl, each weekend my Dad used to take me for an early morning walk to our run down local boatyard. We used to walk out along the long wooden jetty together, the sea on either side and below the spaced wooden slats. Boats tied to swinging moorings and old boats on trailers with stories of the sea etched in their fading paintwork. These were some of the most contented and calm memories of my childhood. The same calm and contentment I feel now, my life being shaped and my energy, focus and courage drawn from the sea.
Now I live right on the coast, with my husband and little boy. Boats and the sea have become our way of life. We aren’t perfect in our own big story of life and we sometimes don’t get it right, but now I know how important Seaspray is for my Soul. Sometimes we need to look back and see what runs through our blood. The sea is my essence.
I intend to write more for you (and myself) about those nautical adventures and therapies!